Young men lost....

When you imagine a cookout one would typically picture family, friends, displaying the latest fashion mixed with waxed cars, clean rims and a few kids with messy shirts enjoying their little huggie juices and hot dogs-some without the bun. For the most part, a cookout could be used for numerous occasions some including graduations, weddings, family reunions or just to enjoy a nice summer day. What most of us wouldn't expect at a cookout is to see our lives flash before our eyes. Very recently, there was a group of people attending a cookout held in memory of two young men who were shot to death just a year prior; they're unfortunate stories would describe that they first hand witnessed the ignorance of our young African American men today.

While family and friends gather in an attempt to show support for the loved ones lost just a year before; a young man decided it would be a good idea to spray no named bullets toward the innocent. Of the 12 wounded, 3 bullets entered a 23 year old pregnant woman as she fed her 4 year old son. This story would be saddening regardless of the victim. But because it was a family member of mine, it hit me with quite force. The violence displayed amongst ourselves is quite disturbing. Bullets are flying, bodies are dropping and as a result the death rate is climbing. people, please live life with purpose as you never know when your number will be called. Its Todd with a lil food for thought. "Its everywhere. Guns and violence are in every nook and cranny of America. Many make it easier to get a gun than a book from the library. That puts us all at risk"-Marian Wright

Child Support or Mom Support?

I was reading a blog today written by my man B. James. He was talking about the divorce battle between Nas and Kelis. I'm not a rumor follower but I was under the impression that they were happily married. Unfortunately, my assumption was incorrect. Apparently, the two have decided to divorce and the judges decision for an "appropriate" child support settlement was $55,000 a month! Now, I understand that Nas is a very popular artist, as was Kelis, so what the hell does she want with that kind of money? On one side of the continuum, there are some men who don't step up to the plate when asked, forcing women to either struggle or take the matter to the state, for child support. But at some point, do we not ask ourselves is this a matter of greed or support for the child? Is it not called child support? Why do some women feel they need a certain amount of assistance that is clearly more than enough to cover the expenses of the child yet they still feel as if they should get more to maintain some sort of lifestyle they lived while in the relationship or marriage? Men should not have to work two or three jobs to pay for your late sprint and BGE bills! Women, try taking a step back and ask yourself why cuz this ain't cute. Its Todd with a lil food for thought. "She was supposed to get your shorty Tycho with ya money, she went to the doctor got lypo with ya money, she come out lookin like Micheal with ya money should got that insured geico for ya money"-Kanye West

In the "Mist" of Adversity

We all know that right now times are hard and things don't always, if ever go as planned. Adversity reminds me of rain, by definition adversity is the state, condition, or instance of serious or continued difficulty. Some days it will rain on the wedding day, rain when you forget your umbrella and rain on the only free Friday you have this month. But if we stop and think about rain, we notice that rain is needed for survival. It waters the fields farmers use to harvest crops, it moistens the soil in which we use to grow plants, it also cools down the earth on a hot summer day. And at the end of it all, It creates a rainbow. When your faced with adversity...or rain, take it with a smile. It may put a halt to an activity that you had planned or you might have messed your hair up right after leaving the hairdresser; but maybe you were destined to have a WELL MAINTAINED pony tail...lol and a family night opposed to screaming to the left to the left and patting your weave with B!...But seriously, adversity breeds character, without adversity you wont grow; you cant grow due to continued success...you do the math. You must know what the bottom feels like to know when you've reached the top. Its Todd with a lil food for thought. "If your in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change, if your in a good situation, don't worry it'll change"- John A. Simone, Sr "Adversity introduces a man to HIMSELF"-unknown

A Womans Worth

To see a woman growing over a 9 month period in hopes to birth a healthy beautiful being into the world is a blessing in itself. To then see her nurture and care for the child as a female lion does for her cubs is quite moving as well. I have yet to be blessed with a daughter but I anticipate the day. In these days, in these times, growing to be a beautiful young woman is quite a job. It takes love, energy, time, and patience and even more patience. For these reasons and many more, why are the women of today treated as if they are the annoying gnat that's flying over the hot cheeseburger and potato salad? As men, do we not understand the significance a woman plays in our lives? Are we ignorant to the fact that this is actually someones daughter? Truthfully, I believe that some of us have never thought about this. A woman is worth more than a 60 minute relationship. Women want to be cared for as they were in adolescence, protected as they were through puberty and loved as they were even when they did wrong. Gentlemen, replace the young woman in your lives right now with your daughter. Now are you going to hold that door? Open her door first? Take her out for a nice night WITHOUT a motive? Or would you still talk a million dollars into her pants so that she is so high in the clouds that she doesn't even realize your unbuttoning them? Its Todd with a lil food for thought. "Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot, but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved"-unknown

Love vs. Lust

Some say the line between the two is as thin as the thread used to sew the replacement button on your favorite shirt; while others feel like the difference is night and day. I was even given the definition of love and lust and was blown away. I've never truly known the real meaning of these powerful words. Love is SELFLESSNESS, the complete giving of yourself to someone else trustworthy enough to be an acceptable recipient. Lust is SELFISHNESS, the idea of self pleasure, self interest or self concern. Not being willing to devote yourself to someone or something. To lust is to sink; alone. To love is to float; with company. Its Todd with a lil food for thought. "true love never dies for it is lust that fades away. Love bonds for a lifetime but lust just pushes away" - Alicia Barnhart

Forgiveness

The act of granting pardon to someone for a wrong doing. The ability to release the emotional shackles placed on one who you wish to retaliate against. Holding grudges will only deter the many blessings in which hold your mailing address. Why hold onto anger? Is it not heavy? Is it not painful? People are human as you are, make mistakes as you do. Who are you not to forgive but wish to be forgiven? Life is too short not to forgive. Tell someone you forgive them and let it go. "people never get the flowers while they can still smell em"...its Todd with a lil food for thought. "Lord, how many times shall my brother sin against me and i forgive him? Up to seven times?...No, not seven times, but seventy times seven times"- Matthew chp 8 verses 21-22

Communication...Never a one way street

Communication...the transformation or exchange of ideas. This plays an imperative part in the condition of any relationship and if not handled properly, it is inevitably destructive to a relationship. whether it be personal, work related etc. Communication is the responsibility of both parties the sender and the decoder...we all play on both sides of the ball so be a complete player. Active listening is the best form of communication. Its Todd with a lil food for thought. "Poor communication is the root of almost all interpersonal issues. Ask the hard questions. Be honest and straight forward"- Trevor Shylock

Apologizing...

An apology is an expression of regret for having caused trouble for someone. Many of us have "trouble" with the act of apologizing for our wrong doings because of stubbornness, selfishness, pride, etc. If you have done wrong to someone apologizing is not a form of submission or losing but more a form of respect and maturity to recognize your faults and having the courage and self respect to ask for forgiveness for your actions. Friends, if there is something that you've done to someone, GENUINELY apologize and evaluate how it makes you and the other person feel. Its Todd with a lil food for thought. "A stiff apology is a second insult...the injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt"- G.K. Chesterson

Time

All living creatures posses one of the most important assets there is to have...time. Therefore, some are a little reluctant to devote much, if any to those who aren't deserving. For this reason, be the person people want to give their time to. How? start by being loving, caring, and respectful; the rest will take care of itself. The best thing you can give someone is your time. Use and share it wisely. Remember, people make time for what they want. Its Todd with a lil food for thought. "One who is wealthy with time must know poverty of time is thy neighbor"- Todd Brown

To be or not to be...a friend

To say the least, what is a friend?...do you really know? Is it the one who tells you to just pull out opposed to making a store run? Or the one who will buy your drinks while you two step with the guy in the clean white linen shirt, but cant be found when you need her fresh linen shirt to wipe tears? Or better yet, is it the friend who says you only stumbled once and choses not to take your keys and lets you drive home drunk? come on people wake up!...just because they're your friends on facebook doesnt mean they're your frineds in the real world!... Friends are the ones who will make that drive at 3am to give you that condom, or be there to offer you that linen shirt and worry about the cleaners bill later or even the one who willl go to war with you regardless of fault and afterwards heal your wounds while describing where you went wrong. Those are friends!...people sadden me when they use the term friends so lightly. Get the knife out of your back and re-evaluate your friend circle, remember, if they arent helping you they're a hinderance. Life is too short to entertain bad company. Its Todd with a lil food for thought. "A friend without substance is just a person that you've known for a long time"- Adam Dickerson